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THE
BOY COLIN SAYS:
TORK
ABOUT A LOADA OW CLOBBA
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| THE
BOY COLIN |
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HELLO
TERGETHER –
the Gal June wuz in wunna har clearin’ up mudes t’other
dear, she wuz.
“Blarst
me, Bor,” she say, “yew hen’t half poiled up
a loada ow rubbish over the yares, hen’t yew?”
Oi
know wot she wuz a gittin’ on moost about – moi
tearpes and records.
“Dorn’t
know woss gornta happen tew ’em when yew pop orf,”
she went on. Oi told har ter put sum onnem in the box longa
me ’corse Oi dorn’t wotta listen ter harps orl tha
toime, thow thare moight not be na harps whare Oi’m a’gorn!
Still,
Oi reckon as how she’s roight and we orl poile up stuff
wot we dorn’t need but dorn’t wotta git shot on.
She reckun as how she cood open up a lib’ry and rent
out summa moi bukes and mearke a few quid that way.
She
hev a pearke in moi wardrobe now an’ agin an’ wotta
hull out summa moi trousers.
“Oi’ll
use them fer gardenin’,” Oi say, but she say: “Yew
en’t offen on the garden an’ when yew are yew ollus
wear yar best things.”
But
dorn’t yew loike ter wear things wot are comf’table
an’ dorn’t wotta dump ’em?
Moind
yew, she’s nearly as bad. Evra toime we cum back orf
a harldy she luke at th’ow cearses an’ say: “This
hare one’s gotta tear in it, put it up in the lorft,
that’ll cum in handy.”
They
never dew and when we clared the lorft out larst yare we hulled
out seven or earte onnem. Oi bet summa yew hev dun the searme.
Oi
collect T-shats wherever Oi go on harldy an’ (thow Oi
say it moiself) Oi hev got sev’ral if not more. Now an’
agin she carst har weather-eye onnem and say: “Sum onnem’ll
hatta go dew yew’ll wotta new wardrobe!”
Tha
Canary shat is a’hangin’ on thow. She hallered a
bit ’corse moi boy jist cum back from ’Merica an’
browt me anuther.
We’re
gotta rare lot of old spunes wot moi mother left an’
found thare way inter our house but, beins Gal June is ollus
cookin’, she reckon they orl cum in handy – loike
har poile a shoes (but Oi han’t better go thare!).
But
yew see, moost things Oi collect hev a lotta mem’ries
ter go ’longa ’em an’ whare would we be without
mem’ries? Yew can’t jist chuck mem’ries away
kin yer?
A
lotta moine dorn’t tearke up na room nayther: skule dears,
moi toime in the RAF, a’playin’ footie on the Rec,
picnicking on tha Little Neatherd when we hed proper summers.
As toime go by Oi think ’bout orl them things we dun
when we wuz young. Sum noights when she go out ’longa
har meartes Oi tarn orf the telly an’ the music and jist
sit an’ cogitearte ‘bout tha old dears. Yew’re
gotta treasure ’em corse yew’ll never get ’em
back agin.
Th’ow
wather carn’t mearke up it’s moind – yit ken
the forcarsters. Pearpers say ‘HEAT WAVE FOR TWO WEEKS’
an’ then wot happen? We git wun hot dear then that bucket
it down. An’ jist in cearse yew arsk, noooo we hen’t
had anuther harldy. Things keep a’tarnin’ up wot
want a’dewin an’ we hen’t hed the chance but
dew yew see, bor, that’ll cum sune. Till then that’ll
hatta be a trip ter the Cromer Pier show an’ fish an’
chips from Mary Jearne’s.
Sorsages
fer tea terday, Oi kin smell’um a’cookin’ so
Oi’m orf.
Hare
yew go tergether.
First
published in The
Merry Mawkin
Number 42, autumn 2011.
THE
BOY COLIN’S NORFOLK QUIZ
Time
to test your local knowledge
1
Which island lies off Burnham Overy Staithe?
2
Which BBC comedy actor has a statue in Thetford?
3
Which Dereham man survived the Le Paradis Massacre in May
1940?
4
Where is Docwra’s rock factory?
5
Where is Norfolk’s largest village green?
6
Which historic Norwich building was devastated by fire in
April 1995?
7
In which year was St John’s Roman Catholic cathedral
in Norwich completed?
8
During which month is the Norfolk and Norwich Festival held?
9
Which town is situated two miles from Mettingham Castle?
10
What was the previous name of the John Lewis store in Norwich?
St
John’s Roman Catholic cathedral – the present church
was started in 1884, but do you know when it was finished?
How
did you do? Click
here
to find out!
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